Voiced by: Riverdude Covers
https://www.youtube.com/c/RiverdudeCovers
Edited & Written by: Chase Hukill
https://www.youtube.com/c/ChaseHukill
Artwork by: Diana A Go Go
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwMY2Ru-SZ2ghPBUz6iQ57w
Santa Dio Art by Train Wreck Blonde
https://www.tumgir.com/trainwreckblond-v2
The Poem itself
Twas the Night Before Christmas
And across the fanbase
Not a soul was stirring
Not even Kars in Space
The stockings were hung
By the chimney with care
In the hopes that quite soon
Christmas would be there
The children all nestled,
Quite safe in their beds
While the first strings of Roundabout
Played in their heads.
And my body pillow,
And my Gyro cap,
Had just dozed off
For a Long Winter’s nap.
When suddenly out came a cry from the city
In the sounds of what must be an awful calamity
Away to my window
So frighteningly quick
When next, I exhaled:
“Oh, this guy’s a Dick.”
For what i saw was no small sleigh or stroller
Instead i saw flying a bright yellow road roller
When what i should see was the most bizarre,
But an evil vampire
And eight tiny Joestars
With the vampiric driver
His fangs all aglow
I knew in a moment,
This must be DIO
He turned to his steeds
Though I knew their fame,
He whistled and called out to each one by name
“On Jonathan, on Joseph
On Jotaro and Josuke
On Giorno, Jolyne, Johnny
And the OTHER Josuke
From Victorian England, to those eyes on the Wall,
Now Run Away, Run Away,
Run Away, All!”
So up to the housetop, The Joestars they flew
With a bundle of toys
And Dio Brando, too
And then with a creaking, the roof was indented
A sign of the vampire, whom I resented.
And as I hung my head, considering to flee
Down came the vampire with a jolly old “WRYYY”
He was dressed all in leather, Gaudy and Showy
And they seemed to be covered,
All bloody and Snowy.
And just when I thought we should fear for our lives
He whipped out a gift of brand-new kitchen knives
His Fangs- how they twinkled! His Smile-so scary
He brought new video games,
For the man fond of cherries.
The hair on his head was as blonde as the sun
The same way it had been when he appeared
In part one.
His boots, it seemed, had been made by Gucci
Both freshly polished by his boyfriend, Pucci
And then, with a laugh that sounded most vile
He decided he’d keep this new body a while
He was ripped and in shape, an absolute hunk
As big as his ego, the size of his junk
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know i had something to dread
He chuckled a bit, then went to his work
And stole all the presents,
Good Grief, what a jerk.
And then I approached him,
But striking a pose
He flipped me the finger,
And up the chimney he rose
He climbed on his roller, to his team gave a cry
And then all at once, they took to the sky
But i heard him cry out, ere he flew out of sight
“I hate you all, Merry Christmas, goodnight”
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